when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
