its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
