Three words: puerto rican gang bang
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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