I feel like I'm in dance class right now
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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