why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Did you pee in the oven last night??
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
