He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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