I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
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