Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
