Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Randomize