Nicole vs. Life
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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