yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Randomize
