I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
