Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize