i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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