your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize