It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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