That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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