im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
