I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
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