So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
