she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
