How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
