As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize