dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
