i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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