did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
