I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
My pussy is not your playground.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I love you.
Bad choice
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