It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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