I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
