hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
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