i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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