thus making me awesome and them whores
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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