My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
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