I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Randomize
