hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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