in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
