I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
