I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
