The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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