You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
