Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
You can't special order awesome
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
