I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
