i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Randomize
