come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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