Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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