You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize