My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
