Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
