I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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