I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
