I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Bang-toberfest begins!!
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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