He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
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