Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
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