Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
