I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
i came on her dog
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
