i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
