It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
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