We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
