She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
