nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
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