Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
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