once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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