He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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